I don’t know. Maybe there was something blowing in on the breeze today while I was up on the ladder working on the patio roof that I am rebuilding, that has affected my sensibilities. Maybe there was something hallucinogenic on the surface of the polycarbonate panels I was putting up. Maybe I was somehow transported to an alternate reality when I wasn’t paying attention. Something.

Sitting peacefully in rush hour gridlock on my way home, one of the benefits of living here in the city of Austin, Texas, Y’all, and listening to NPR so I don’t get all impatient and cussy at the hordes of poorly skilled drivers surrounding me, I heard the tail end of a story that said that there are 7 counties here in Texas, where it is illegal to drive on their roads if you are on the way to getting an abortion. Ba-da-bum. 

I yelled “WHAT???” so loudly that even with my windows up on my truck, it caused people from a quarter mile around me to look up in surprise. And birds to take flight.

How can they tell? Is there a guilty expression detector alongside the highway or something? Do abortion clinics in New Mexico… because you sure as heck can’t get an abortion in good ol’ Texas where obviously women are not part of the equation… require you paint a red A on your car if you are going to drive there from Texas? Are there checkpoints to enforce this? 

I sat there stunned, and was startled into action by the guy behind me honking his head off, so that I would move forward the 5 feet that the guy ahead of me had moved.

The very next story as I was inching forward, was about re-thinking the message to teens about not taking drugs, not a bad idea but let’s put some PARENTING in there somewhere, because… wait for it… “Just Say No”, (Thanks Nancy) and just telling kids not to take drugs, since the 80’s, has not been working. Ba-da-bum. Are you kidding me here? And we pay people to come up with this stuff? Holy crap! Where the heck am I?

Even worse, they were talking about teaching kids how to administer Narcan, in case their friends overdose on opioids. Like somebody is going to handily have some narcan in their school backpack. Will that be on the list of school supplies you have to buy at the beginning of school?

I must be hallucinating. I better get home soon and sleep this off. Or try to find my way back to my previous reality.

You can never go wrong underestimating the thoughtfulness of your run-of-the-mill human being.

Please, I just want to go home.