I had a girlfriend. Yes, I know that is hard to believe, but for a short while I had one. She lived in Florida, and I live in Austin, Texas Y’all, and it was a long distance relationship with short times of intense passion, and longer times of passionate longing. It was fun but sad.

She flew up from Florida once to visit me here. I drove to the airport to pick her up, and was walking around the baggage claim looking for her, and all of a sudden, as if a huge vacuum was turned on, men all around me were swept over to the escalator coming down from Arrivals. Only men, it seemed, so out of curiosity, I walked over to see what was going on.

Coming down the escalator was a totally smokin hot blonde, with blue eyes and a great smile, and a very short red dress. Immodestly short when looking up an escalator at her. It was easy to see that her panties matched the dress. She seemed preoccupied, unaware of the effect she was having until she reached the bottom, and found herself surrounded by men. Which I later found out was not true. So, I stepped up to her, and took her in my arms, and hugged the heck out of her, and we went to claim her luggage. I could feel the weight of the envy of the men around us as we grabbed her bags and headed out to my truck. It was the only time in my life that I ever felt that. I felt like Superman. And I had not done anything, except to be the one she was meeting.

We had a great time for a couple weeks, running around Austin, and camping in the Hill Country. I had a party at my house so my friends could come and see just what type of girl would be insane enough to be in a relationship with Sam. Then she flew off, back to Florida. The relationship seemed to be going well, distance notwithstanding. I flew to Ohio and met her there so she could introduce me to her family. I drove to Florida a couple times.

Things seemed to be going well until one day, in a conversation, she said, “You know Sam, when you move to Florida and start your business here, (news to me!) you will have to give up on your silly thing with those girls in Mexico. (um…) We will need the money you spend on paying for their schooling, for us. And you won’t be able to just zip down to Mexico anytime you feel like it, like you do now.”

That was the beginning of the end of the relationship. She had always kind of blown off my stories about the girls I was mentoring, and sometimes it seemed she was jealous of them. So eventually we went our separate ways.

Several months later I was rooting around in my closet, trying to put together a decent outfit to wear down in Mexico for the college graduation of one of those very girls. And in the back, I came across the famous red dress, that she had accidentally left in my closet from her visit.

Well, I could not help but be inspired, and I took off my boy duds, and I put on her dress, and walked out into the living room, startling my housemate into speechlessness. Who quickly grabbed her cellphone and took a picture of me. Even Chula, my dog was stunned at my beauty. I thought I rocked her dress almost as much as she had.

I liked the picture so much that I put it up on my website as the header.

Sometimes I wonder about me.